Who hasn't experienced it? Friends, acquaintances or relatives bombard you with tips and well-intentioned advice on how to deal with depression or borderline personality disorder . Of course, this advice is usually well-intentioned and is meant to help, but often it just feels overwhelming .
In my case, sometimes I just don't know how to react to this well-intentioned wisdom. It's hard not to be perceived as a "victim" of your diagnosis without giving the impression that I don't care at all about the advice. You're caught between the desire to be grateful and the feeling of being overwhelmed . Because yes, some of this advice is helpful. But it gets particularly complicated when you're already having a hard time organizing and communicating your feelings, setting boundaries , etc.
Borderline, for example, is full of contradictions . Emotions swing from one extreme to the other, and it's hard to put them into words, let alone explain them to someone who doesn't live with it themselves. I'm often advised to think long-term - but how can I do that when the moment is so overwhelming that it seems almost impossible to get through the next day? That's when the well-intentioned advice feels like an additional burden .
Instagram and the like don't make it any easier. The wave of self-help tips that we come across every day contributes to being overwhelmed . Of course we want to improve, we want to do something - but where do we start ? Which of these is really helpful and which is perhaps even counterproductive ? And I also have a doctor and medication that I rely on. My doctor knows me and understands my diagnosis; should I really try out every trend that I come across on social media?
Another thing that regularly drives me to despair is when someone talks to me for minutes and explains to me how I can overcome all my diagnoses "just like that". But what many people don't understand is that everyday life is a constant battle for someone with a mental illness . It's not that I don't fight. The battle against negative thoughts , against the rollercoaster of emotions , against lack of motivation , or against the "sword of Damocles" of problem behavior - all of this requires more energy than you might think. And yet you often have to keep up a facade on the outside, which is also exhausting.
At the end of the day, you sometimes feel like you've never tried anything to fight these "inner demons." But does anyone really believe that you undergo therapies like CBASP, ketamine infusions, or ECT treatments for fun? Or that you go to a clinic several times a year because you like the food there so much? If you think you haven't tried anything, you're seriously mistaken.
Sometimes just getting through the day can be a daunting task. At times like these, even well-intentioned advice to exercise regularly or eat healthily – both of which are undoubtedly important – can be too much.
